and as day 2 and day 3 run together into one, something begins

One of the tiles in my mosaic of spiritual practices involves chanting the Heavenly Code (Chun Bu Kyung), an ancient Korean scripture about nine thousand years old. Here is an English translation:

One begins unmoved moving,
That has no beginning.
One divides to three crowns,
While remaining a limitless mover.
Heaven comes first,
Earth comes second,
Human comes third.
One gathers to build ten,
And infinite forms become the trinity (of heaven, earth, human).
Heaven gains two to make three.
Earth gains two to make three.
Three trinities make six,
And they create seven, and eight, nine appears,
And there comes a turning.
Three and four form a circle,
Five with seven makes one whole.
Way-less is the way all comes and all goes,
Features are changing, and change-less is the maker.
Divine mind is eternal light,
Looking toward celestial light.
Human bears heaven and earth,
And the three make one.

The essence of the scripture is in its last sentence: heaven, earth, and humanity are together one entity, and every individual human being contains this entity. I believe that this is true. I also believe it is the same message Jesus brought to the world two thousand years ago. As much as possible, I try to source my life from the awareness of this unity.

Yesterday many people were laid off from my company, including a good friend of mine. No doubt some jealous hatred has been turned on me for the fact that I am still there. I'm fairly used to this, though--it comes with the territory of being talented and not hiding it, and it has been with me my entire life.

The fact is that everyone is supremely talented, but not everyone knows that they are. And if I believe that someone else is talented or beautiful and I am not, of course I'm going to hate and envy that person, be mad at God, and bear ill will toward that person. This is a story almost as old as humankind itself, so I can at least take some comfort in the fact I'm not alone.

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After work I met up with friends for a night of alcohol-fueled dancing at Berlin. It was 2 a.m. before we even got to the club, and though I still wore my corporate attire, I felt right at home amidst the dancing transvestites and assorted weirdos. The earth moved, the heavens opened. Was it religious experience, a sexual experience, or just a plain old good time? All three, I think, though my clothes stayed on and I certainly wasn't singing Amazing Grace. We stepped out for a moment to get some fresh air, and the world just felt right. Like everything was exactly in its proper order, and good things were lined up for the future.

It was, quite simply, the exact feeling I'd been chasing for my entire youth, caught a few times but never really knew it. The feeling that generations of parents, usually fruitlessly, warn you away from, fearing that one night of freedom will turn their precious babies into drug addicts, prostitutes, or worse--independent, self-defining adults. I remarked to my friend, "This is what being young is supposed to be like!" We grabbed fried food at 4am, stayed up until 6 talking about art and astrology and shamanism and sex. This is just as American as cubicles and Cubs games--the constantly vibrating, underground, heart-pumping shadow side of our culture--and I love it.

The drive home was terrifying; as soon as I dropped my friend off, the energy evaporated and suddenly it was hard to keep my eyes open. Harder than ever before in my life. But I made it back to the otherworld that is the suburbs, where I happily slept the morning away in my feng shui'ed bedroom, continuing the night's activities through a dream journey before being rudely awakened by my father pounding on the door.

Was he rude to wake me up, or was I rude to be asleep at 11:45 on a Friday morning? I quickly wrote my morning pages and dove back into my "normal" life--talking to my dad about work, staying home after he left so I could wait for a delivery of sinks for the bathroom remodeling, making plans for the meeting I need to attend tonight. Embracing the everyday along with the transcendent, smoothly moving from one world to another. I see no other way to live and remain a whole person.