Day 14

2 weeks into this? Already?! Time has been flying by so fast. My purpose is at the same time 100% clear and 100% unknown. I know I am to keep faithfully following the leadings of Spirit--but I do not know where Spirit is leading me.

My research, after having read Balance Point, has led me one step further into the spiritual fringes, to a site called Operation Terra. I spent the last two days devouring all the information on the site, and feel called to share it, despite the cult accusations popping up on the Internet. (It seems that everything I get involved with seems to be surrounded by cult accusations, from Dahn Yoga to the Catholic Church, so I take these things with a rather large grain of salt and follow my internal guidance above all else.)

Personally, I am resonating with the material on Operation Terra, albeit in a somewhat resistant manner. I do not believe any of the information on the site can or should be taken literally or read with the literal, intellectual mind. But I definitely resonate with the instructions given for those "destined for Terra." The instructions are to "let go and let God," to allow my energy to be cleansed, to release all stagnant energy or blockages within myself, to make my spiritual practice the center of my life, to simplify, to not get sucked into the endless drama being hawked by the media, to go within for answers, and to have the courage to face any opposition for living my truth from within.

Not to mention, the idea that there were multiple UFO sightings in the Bible (mentioned on the recommended reading list) is worthy of research, if for nothing else but amusement value.

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I began singing in the car on the drive home today, pulling a new song out of the ether. And as I sang, awareness of a large energy blockage surfaced within me. I have not fully dealt with a recent betrayal that has shown up in my life, and I have been carrying its ugly, hateful energies with me for quite some time.

Feelings came up as I sang, and I translated the feelings into words, and the words became answers. Any betrayal, whether it's the loss of a friend, a job, or a romantic relationship, comes packaged with a hefty dose of shame, which makes us often unwilling to talk about what happened. This is definitely the case for me, and even in my desire to be transparent, I don't feel it's appropriate to share the details; it would be speaking ill of another human being who is alive and walking this earth and already has his own share of problems to deal with. However, what came to me was the weight of the shame, and its power to isolate an individual from society. Because even if I were to detail what happened, no one would really want to hear it. We'd rather get our drama from TV and tabloids, not from someone we actually have to deal with in life. This way we can vent all our unresolved shame, blame, and hate on Angelina Jolie and Tom Cruise.

Celebrities deserve every dollar they make, because they serve this function for our culture--being the scapegoat for everyone's sins. Adultery, abusive relationships, and general nastiness are rampant in everyone's lives, but we have to be nice to each other to keep the wheels of society turning. Where does all the anger go, then? Famous, beautiful people are a convenient target. No one wants to look within themselves for the cause of whatever misery they're experiencing.

Not until you hit rock bottom and you have no other choice.