Dating--day 17

Some time ago I received an intuitive direction to go back on the dating sites.

"Why?" I asked God. "Isn't that technically adultery? Doesn't the Bible say that marriage is for life, even if a divorce occurs--making celibacy my only option? Wasn't that confirmed last year when I was dating and I ended up in the hospital with an unexplainable illness because You were displeased with me?"

"Yes," the voice came back. "But the rules have changed now. Remember, We no longer have the Bible as a barrier between Us, and as long as you obey Me, I will protect you."

So today I went on my first date in almost a year, and now I'm fairly certain what the lessons are.

1. I'm way more attractive than I was a year ago. Last year I was messaging the men; this year they are messaging me.
2. Men are just as mundane and depressing as they were a year ago. They are more fun to talk to now, though.
3. And there is not a man on earth who can possibly compete with the intimacy I have with my Creator, nor fulfill my longings for love and companionship. It is just not possible--not part of the design of this world.

In this world, there is a battle going on between men and women--a fight to the death! Patriarchal fundamentalists square off against feminists. Dating is a game where the man tries to get in the woman's pants without a commitment, and the woman tries to obtain a commitment without sex. And once the wedding rings are on, it's even worse! What is good for the goose is not good for the gander--in fact, our desires and needs seem to be directly opposed, so that what benefits the one actually harms the other.

My dream last night depicted this war in vivid detail. In it, two soldiers with guns came to knock on a woman's door. The woman looked out, and seeing that there were two men and they both had guns, she pulled out her own machine gun and mercilessly opened fire before a single word was said.

The men returned to base. One was unhurt, the other was unconscious and severely wounded. I was given the job of carrying the wounded man to the hospital on foot.

It was a long walk, but he was not heavy to me. Somehow, it felt good and right that I was doing this. I finally reached the hospital, and the doctors there (both men and women) assured me that the man would live and that they could treat his wounds. And then I waited...

After I woke up and went into meditation, I saw the wounded man again, this time lying asleep on a bed of flowers. I saw his face clearly this time, and I know who he is. He is the one who is going to enter my life in the future. He is not the one I have been hoping for, but he is just as wonderful as that one, or will be once he awakens.

I do believe there is a potential for love and beauty and harmony to exist between men and women. I just haven't seen it yet. My life has looked like the war scene in my dream--men have hurt me in the past, and whenever I see one, I do have a strong tendency to immediately open fire.

I should remember that I also have the capacity to bring them to healing--and that this task is rewarding in and of itself. I should also remember that I am not the one actually doing the healing--my task is only to bring the wounded person to the Divine.

That is probably the reason God wants me on those annoying dating sites...